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Back to Reality

Best vacation ever. I strongly suggest trying a staycation. I also suggest moving to a resort. It helps. But I did a ton of great things this week. Can't wait until next year. Thanks for the memories. 

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I Mustache Missed Something

In the past couple of years I've been to a baby shower, countless parties and now today to a girl's birthday party with a mustache theme. What is happening? Does Bic do something non-PC so we can't shave anymore? What is with the current magic of the mustache?

I know about the colon cancer awareness. I know about the gays using beards - boy do I ever! But is there something more to it? I'm off to Lizzy's birthday party. I'll let you know what I find out.

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Dante's Inferno

mousetrap 1Tonight as part of my staycation, that has me bound and determined to see the sites of this city that don't require a minimum bet, I went into a "hot bed" of live performance at Dante Hall. I attended the Atlantic City Theater's production of the murder mystery The Mousetrap by Agatha Christie. Did you know that it is the longest running play in the world? It has been running in London, in first run status, since 1952. Haven't our pals across the pond heard of Cats?

Dante Hall is located in the historic "Ducktown" part of Atlantic City that is also referred to as AC's Little Italy. In fact the building was constructed by next door neighbor St. Michael's Roman Catholic Church. So before we heard Three Blind Mice being whistled on the stage tonight this hallowed hall heard many little Anthonys sing in many Christmas pageants. 

The building itself is something to see. It is beautiful with a stone facade, stained glass and a bathroom that rivals any luxury suite on the island. Check the web for the schedule of events that include plays via the ACT as well as poetry readings, jazz and if I have anything to say about it comedy shows.

The production itself had many good technical elements. Although the lighting cues were many and mostly mistimed. Attention Actors: keep your hand on the lamp until the lights have changed. It's theater 101 people. The set was wonderful, full of period details, and was clearly born from a designer with OCD and crown molding experience. The costumes were both realistic and flattering on the wide range of body types of the cast. I don't think that there were crisp, white, distracting soles on dress shoes in this period Mr. Paravicini. But as I remember from community theater you often supply you own shoes. Thank god Ms. Christie sets the stage in what she calls "the present" and we all know they do exist at Timberland's now.

mousetrap 2The acting was certainly passionate. But I hate to see actors stuttering over lines in the last weekend of a run. But jokes were hit and the audience was kept in suspense to the identity of the killer until the end. There were a few miscasts and volume/mumbling issues. The actor playing Christopher Wren needs to do his vocal warm up, stop watching Brando movies or both. Also if he is 22 years old as stated in the script I haven't even been born yet. I enjoyed Ken Groome as Major Metcalf in his understated statesman performance. Also notably Mrs. Boyle reveled in her "I need to speak to the manager" attitude and was very funny. A solid effort was given by the teen who played Sergeant Trotter with great diction and focus. But herhigh voice gave her away more than her shiny, page boy wig. Clearly the boys in the community where this community theater is in are not coming out in droves to audition. How can we change that?

Surprisingly ACT did not opt to ask the audience to keep the ending a secret as is tradition with this production in London. But you won't hear any spoilers from me. Go see it before they close. Because at Dante Hall you won't know who the killer is. But at the craps tables it is clear to guess who the loser will be. Take a break and support the arts.  

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Ye who is without sin Comcast the first stone.

I know I just blogged about judgement. So I hope I don't go too far here. Because if there is one thing I hate it's a hypocrite. BUT! The Comcast Company and all of its subsidiaries are collectively a packed of wild, filthy, lying beasts that are doomed to walk the Earth torturing more evolved species with bait and switch tactics, monopolies and circular logic.

Here is a portion of the transcript of my last hour being vectored around to several different departments with them:

Me: "My package came with free HBO. I don't have free HBO."
Satan: "Who told you that?"
Me: "I'm reading it too you right off your own website in real time right now."
Satan: "Please hold while I talk to our supervisor."


Satan: "We can't see that page. Basically there is nothing we can do. WE HAVE SOOO MANY PROMOTIONS OUT THERE WE CAN'T POSSIBLY HONOR THEM ALL!"
Me: "So if I own a pizza shop and you order a pepperoni pizza. But I actually deliver to you sausage pizza. By your logic I can just say we have sooo many toppings out there we can't possibly provide them all."
Satan: "Basically."

Does anyone have a VIEWMASTER I can borrow?

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Becoming an Organ Donor

organ donorToday I became an organ donor. Not to worry. It has been on my driver's license for years. I'm talking about a pipe organ. It's way easier. I don't even need to die first. I just needed to put all my wrinkly dollars in the box as I left the free tour at Boardwalk Hall. Did you know that Atlantic City boasts the world's largest organ?  Insert sex joke here. Mine went like this: "Second largest," said one of my neighbors. "Did I loft that softball high enough for ya," I said. I love living in this city.

But it is true the world's largest pipe organ is housed in historic Boardwalk Hall right on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City. The same place where the Miss America Pageant is held. But not a lot of people know about it. Which is a shame. People will stop to see the world's largest cuckoo clock, loaf of bread, or cheese wheel (all in my home state of Ohio by the way). But millions come to America's Playground and pass on hearing sharps and flats to instead hear black or red.

I am having a great week with my staycation. There is so much here to do that does not involve gambling. You gotta try it. If you are here, know that there is a organ concert/tour daily at noon. There is also a two-hour tour at 10:00a.m. on Wednesdays that takes you into pipe chambers and other lairs not readily available to the general public.

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Blog Author

Michelle Tomko's comedy is a fervent blend of tomboy sensibilities courtesy of the older brothers she grew up with in the Midwest and the barrage of perimenopausal chaos the East Coast world has heaped upon her. She pulls her humor from everyday observations and classic stories of family, travel, pets, and adversity. With razor-sharp crowd work and improvisational skills to the rock-solid timing of a veteran performer, Michelle’s act is not to be missed!

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