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Vanessa Williams

Dear Miss America Contestants,


DO NOT SING! Unless you are Vanessa Williams.


Thank you,



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A Comic's Day Haiku


Dunking Booth with drinks.


Show us your shoes! Rain or Shine.


Two shows. I killed both.

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Just got back from the comedy club. It seems like a weird place to remember what happened on 9/11. But it is not. Because you know what happened tonight? People laughed. Women, with their legs and shoulders exposed, laughed. In this simple act I am reminded that the terrorists did not win.


I looked out of my eleventh story balcony today and wondered if a plane was coming right at me would I be able to act as bravely as many of the people on that fateful day. I know I would at least try to make those around me smile somehow, someway.

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Cheaters 28/Rapists 21

There were a few times in my life when I paid more attention to football than in other seasons. It mostly had to do with if i was gambling or not. It started back in the third grade when my best friend Kenny Shuman and I would bet 35¢ on the Monday Night Game. This was way back when Howard Cosell had somthing to do with it. Then there was the Bodog years. And now it's fantasy football.


It's weird rooting when you have a fantasy team. Like tonight I had a player from each team. So instead of hoping one team scores you are hoping they throw to your guy. Weird. Also clouding up the fan water is tonight's match up of cheater vs. rapist. Thank god for the cave aged cheese from Wegmans. I don't hink wings would have got me through it.

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Know Your Audience

Today I was a guest speaker at a community college for an ethics class. I was supposed to do crowd work based on the students race or weight or whatever. I killed. The teacher was thrilled. Her boss, who though it was such a good idea she had to see it, was laughing.


Flip back a few chapters in the book. I was fired from an administrative job at the UU church I go to because I talked about an event in my life that included parishoners in my stage act. Go figure. A community college in farm country trumps a P.C. church in tolerance. I guess you never know.

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Blog Author

Michelle Tomko's comedy is a fervent blend of tomboy sensibilities courtesy of the older brothers she grew up with in the Midwest and the barrage of perimenopausal chaos the East Coast world has heaped upon her. She pulls her humor from everyday observations and classic stories of family, travel, pets, and adversity. With razor-sharp crowd work and improvisational skills to the rock-solid timing of a veteran performer, Michelle’s act is not to be missed!

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