Phone: 609-287-6559

Email: michelletomko@hotmail.com

facebook blue    twitter blueinsta blue

Upcoming Events:

 

 

I'm Sorry I Have to Work.

Tonight I missed my 25th high school reunion and a huge party in the hope of getting some stage time. It was worth it!

Add a comment

The Best Feeling

Okay so the best feeling in the world is when you are a guest spot in an amature contest. I'm a real comic. No more amature night contests. I am so lucky that this and that happened and I got hired at the new club in town before the amature nights began.

 

Yes. OMG yes. Better than an orgasm yes!

 

Thank you Butch Bradley! I'll blow you if you want.

Add a comment

Tonight's Democracy Is Brought to You By...

Do you know who was in the first televised presidential debate? John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon debated in 1960. Do you know what the backdrop was? There really wasn't one. In fact, these guys look more like two boys who were fighting in the hall and got sent to the principal's office.

 

But tonight eleven Republican hopefuls are taking the stage in front of Ronald Reagan's Air Force One. (Reagan, even when he is not here, he is.) The debate, complete with sponsors and commercial breaks resembles more a prize fight or Wrestlemania than a necessary political, public discussion. 

 

Just pick one already. Would ya? They all want to de-fund Planned Parenthood. Non of them believe in global warming. They all think Kim Davis is a hero (not a much of a hero as Reagan). Who cares? Backwoods is backwoods. I would be more interested if it was a cage match. Or if maybe they were all put in a cage.

 

 

AP 671041866270 582x482

Add a comment

Where are the Movies?

Is it me? Or are there no good movies lately? I can't remember the last time I saw a doozie. I'm scouring the On Demans section and coming up with zilch. 

 

I just watched Wild with Reese Witherspoon. She was hiking. She wasn't likable. I laughed whenever she got hurt. I doubt that's what the director was going for. I'm going to bed. I hope I dream about The Godfather or The Lego Movie. 

Add a comment

Dog Days

Let me be half the person my dogs thinks I am. 

 

Also so let my dogs realize how allergic I am to them.

Add a comment

Blog Author

Michelle Tomko's comedy is a fervent blend of tomboy sensibilities courtesy of the older brothers she grew up with in the Midwest and the barrage of perimenopausal chaos the East Coast world has heaped upon her. She pulls her humor from everyday observations and classic stories of family, travel, pets, and adversity. With razor-sharp crowd work and improvisational skills to the rock-solid timing of a veteran performer, Michelle’s act is not to be missed!

Please publish modules in offcanvas position.