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Could This Be My Niche Market?

I just did a wedding. Seriously. The bride wanted her family roasted at her wedding. Could this be my niche market?

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I Do.

Do you America take this Marriage Equality to be the law of the land for as long as you both shall live?YOU DO? 

You can chalk up what happened today to being one of those things that I never thought I would see in my lifetime: a football team with a perfect season, a triple-crown winner, a black president, and gay marriage being the law of the land. With all the scheming by the religious right during Proposition 8, I didn't think the country was ready yet. I was wrong. But the split decision reminds me that we still have a long way to go. But the upside it will be great for the economy. Tiffany's stock already went up.

But I am glad and grateful that as I travel down my own Facebook news feed, which includes tons of friends from my Catholic High School, I haven't seen a single dissenting voice. Thank you all. I also would like to quote what my friend Christine put on her page after the decision. "One thing I keep thinking about is that queer kids born after this day will think of marriage as just another adult kinda thing that they will do.
I NEVER EVER thought that was an option when I was younger. Never."

So congratulations to all those at the forefront of this struggle that started back in '69. Especially the face of the battle Jim Obergefell. I know your husband is smiling at you from the heavens. And to those disappointed by the ruling who believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. Remember that marriage is a living thing that evolves. Point in fact before marriage meant a union between a man and a woman it meant a union between a man a several woman. Now let's all get along. The black president says so...and I think so does the bible.



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Hangin' at the Playground

Last night I got kidnapped and thrown in a van right outside of my lobby. Was I off to white slavery? In this economy? Hell no. Who could afford me? I charge by the pound.

Actually it was just Marc Berman taking me and Lisaura Guzman to the soft opening of the new hotspot in Atlantic City. The Playground opens on Friday with several bars and music venues to entertain the non-gambling millennials this summer. Come on down.

The only downside to last night was all the bands sported jeans, wingtips and vests. Is that the new thing the kids are doing? Where the hell is the leather Rock Stars? 

The big downside the venue has to contend with is big, bad Caesars (the closest parking spot) gouging their neighbor's guests with a $30 parking fee. My advice? Come early and drive in and out of the parking garage at Borgata and ask for a transfer. They always charge only five bucks to park all day every day. It works. I know people who have done it. You're welcome.


hangin at the playground 1   hangin at the playground 2   hangin at the playground 3

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I Went to 'Merica and Didn't Even Get a Lousy T-shirt.

Back to reality, in a galaxy far far away from the Hare Krishnas who were giving me free food and spiritual consciousness, today I entered into a 'Merica store on the Boardwalk.

I'm getting these super hero T-shirts for a party next month. It just so happens that a shop within biking distance of me sells them. The shop boasts that it is American owned and operated for over 60 years. Okay. My dad fought in Korea. I'll support the local proprietors. Then I entered the store, the very unwelcoming, overpriced store. 

After I passed through the honor guard of American flags dressing the proscenium arch of the entryway from the boardwalk I quickly began to see what 'Merica meant to this merchant. Some of my favorite "fair and balanced" colloquialisms defacing the cotton blends: "It's hard to blame me when it's called Obama Care" says a cartoon W., "Clinton - Blow Jobs/Obama - No Jobs", and my personal favorite "Silly Faggot. Dix are for chix."

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Hare Krsna

hare kṛṣṇa hare kṛṣṇa

kṛṣṇa kṛṣṇa hare hare

hare rāma hare rāma

rāma rāma hare hare


The Great Mantra. This is the first time I heard it - in Hair as a kidBut Saturday I did it in a meditation with a man I was drawn to. Both experiences have similarities. Because any time you rattle off that sequence you seem to get into a trance-like state. Even when you are six and playing a wooden tennis racquet like a guitar. Try it and see what you think.
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Blog Author

Michelle Tomko's comedy is a fervent blend of tomboy sensibilities courtesy of the older brothers she grew up with in the Midwest and the barrage of perimenopausal chaos the East Coast world has heaped upon her. She pulls her humor from everyday observations and classic stories of family, travel, pets, and adversity. With razor-sharp crowd work and improvisational skills to the rock-solid timing of a veteran performer, Michelle’s act is not to be missed!

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