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Email: michelletomko@hotmail.com

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From Malt Liquor to Malas: My Day in A.C.

I finally made plans earlier this week with my girlfriend to have no plans this Saturday. I have been coastal living for the past few years and like many others who boarder the ocean I can count on one hand the beach days I have enjoyed. I mean I walk on the beach regularly. I look at the beach all the time. I ride my bike on the boardwalk. But to pack a cooler, spread a towel out, , get full of sand and hide my keys and wallet in my shoe is sadly something that seems like too much work for too little reward. 

But today was a great day of being in the right place at the right time. The universe had many takeaways for me today. I had a great breakfast while watching Bill Maher on demand. Who doesn't learn a thing or two from watching him and his engaging panel? Then I went to an open house for a "luxury" apartment building that is having an auction for unsold units. Much better than garage sale hunting. You can't pick up any clutter in a corner unit. I don't think I will pick up the corner unit either. More on that tomorrow.

Then it was on to the beach. You know what stinks bout going to the beach? Packing the car, icing the cooler down, grabbing snacks, loading up the summer read and sunscreen, driving in shore traffic, circling around for parking and lugging all the crap to the beach. But I don't have to do that anymore. Because I live on the beach! If I need something I can go in the apartment and get it. No peeing in the ocean for me pal. The only problems I dealt with today was finding a malt liquor can that looked enough like Arizona Iced Tea and wondering what in the hell all these strangers were doing on my front yard.

I was glad to bump into one of them though. He was a lovely Indian man who was carrying a cardboard tray of tofu curry, gulab jamun (Google it), and watermelon. "Wow look at you", I said. "Oh you can have it too. Go up to the boardwalk. There is a free feast and festival." Hmmm...free Indian. Telling me that is like telling Walmart shoppers "free hot pink stretch pants." Get out of the way or hide your eyes. But I'm coming.

As I descended damp from the ocean onto the boards and collected my meal from men in white and ladies in saris saying "Hare Krsna", a man handed us each a mala and said "would you like to join us for a meditation?" "We would love to. But we are going to eat." He told us "you can eat later. Now we meditate." We set down our trays.

To be continued...

Blog Author

Michelle Tomko's comedy is a fervent blend of tomboy sensibilities courtesy of the older brothers she grew up with in the Midwest and the barrage of perimenopausal chaos the East Coast world has heaped upon her. She pulls her humor from everyday observations and classic stories of family, travel, pets, and adversity. With razor-sharp crowd work and improvisational skills to the rock-solid timing of a veteran performer, Michelle’s act is not to be missed!

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