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Cavs-All In (except for Lebron's last four shots)

And again Cleveland makes it to the edge of the high dive. But they just can't jump off. Hats off to the Cavs for a great season and for hanging toe to toe with a superior team. But....WHY? Why Cavs? Why? Why does it always have to be so close? The last few minutes of game six was painful. James missing two-in-a-row. James pulls up on a fast break to miss a three-pointer. James goes for a steal and leaves his man wide open. 

That's the problem with depending on one guy to carry a team. That's also the problem with coming up short on the national stage. Maybe I'm lucky. There's not way I would be on level 709 if the world was watching me crush candy.

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The Constitutional

noun dated
. a walk, typically one taken regularly to maintain or restore good health. 

What ever happened to the constitutional? Laziness, a bunch of videos games and television channels, Oh and not having to go to an outhouse to poop all probably have something to do with it. But boy are you missing out. I have gotten back into the habit and I am loving it.

It's the simple things that you often forget to stop and do. But just walking after dinner is helping me digest my food, get to sleep earlier, and generally feel more relaxed. Plus the boardwalk has good drunk watching. Screw birding. The sights, sounds and colors of penniless gamblers in the sunset are magical. Try it.

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Why are Jacks-of-all trades always broke?

You know the ones. The folks that have every certification, were offered lucrative job after prestigious job, can pepper in a fake accent or two, and finish your stories for you adding just a tinge of how they had that exact same experience you are taking about but somehow it was just a little bit better when they did it. The odd thing is that these very talented, yeah dare I say savant-like even, people are always telling these stories barefoot, while smoking a cigarette in cotton elastic-banded pants with a hole in them before they go work the night shift somewhere so they can afford the room they are renting. 

Now I've had lots of jobs too. Some of them involved celebrities. But I don't go around telling people that (unless it's funny). I feel a sense of embarrassment that I missed my shot. That I got so close and here I am blogging to an average of 114 people a day. Shame on me. But I know that sitting around a fire boasting never got me any closer.

Now on the flip side bank account zeros do not always correlate with talent. I get that. But name dropping, bragging and brushes with fame certainly seem to have a negative impact. This amazes me too. That there are not more job openings for a chef/actor/water safety instructor/caterer/movie star. Weird right? You would think that I would have to rent from them. Anyway I gotta run. I have to hire a masseuse/babysitter/photographer/life coach/house cleaner. Does anybody have a tenant with this much talent?

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When little things become big things.

Two little things happened in passing over this week. One was I said to my girlfriend that I wished she would have told me she going to be near the mall the other day because I needed some cheap swim goggles from Five Below or something. The second thing was her saying she would be out again because we needed a hair dryer and me saying that I love the one our friend Anne has but I didn't know the make or model. 

I returned home tonight after being out of the apartment all weekend to find a new hairdryer, swim goggles, and a greeting card on the bed. But it wasn't just any hairdryer. it was the exact one that I liked. Plus instead of the florescent, crappy, uncomfortable goggles I would have bought for myself, I got foo foo, pink-tinted, latex-free, Speedo ones. Now this experience has me looking at the world with rose-colored glasses both figuratively and literally.

The little things she did all turned out to be big tings. To be heard, to be supported, to have someone go the extra mile, and to end up with presents at the end? All this happened to put a perfect button on the end of my weekend. That's a big deal.

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On Murray Grove

"Why do you have tiny hair?" This was one of the rapid fire questions from one of the more inquisitive kids to a cutically challenged elder at an annual retreat I go on with my local Unitarian Universalist congregation.

That's right folks. I left the island, the ocean and air conditioning to travel 40 miles north on the parkway into the wild of bugs, humidity, and freedom of religious thought. The conversation traveled from Humanism to Atheism, made a quick stop on cannibalism and settled on fine-dining, vegan restaurants in Philadelphia. Not to worry. We are a diverse group. There was also an award-winning chili with every type of meat on the market in a New Orleans Saints Crock-Pot. Did you know Crock-Pot is trademarked and yes indeed you capitalize the C and the P. The more you know.

The carpool conversations couldn't be beat either. Those Prius' really have some pick up. Plus there was an iPod full of comedians! The way home was graced with a recap of the adventure and a race against the clock to get home to a diabetic cat. Who could ask for anything more?

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Blog Author

Michelle Tomko's comedy is a fervent blend of tomboy sensibilities courtesy of the older brothers she grew up with in the Midwest and the barrage of perimenopausal chaos the East Coast world has heaped upon her. She pulls her humor from everyday observations and classic stories of family, travel, pets, and adversity. With razor-sharp crowd work and improvisational skills to the rock-solid timing of a veteran performer, Michelle’s act is not to be missed!

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