So since this daily project began I have blogged about my disdain for paying five bucks for a cup of coffee at Starbucks. I also showed my age a bit by writing about how librarians and patrons alike now talk in full "outside voices" while at the library. But today I would like to talk about the phenomenon of my local library actually turning into a Starbucks of sorts.
I know money is tight. But when I see a Keurig machine before I hit the card catalog that's a problem. I remember getting demerits if I was chewing gum in the school library. I remember getting "Shhhhed" in the library. Now I can munch on a bag of chips, make a cup of coffee and read out loud. What's next? Starbucks letting us borrow books? Oh who are we kidding? Starbucks wouldn't give us anything for free. If they could get away with it they would charge us for the Sugar in the Raw packets. Leave it to corporate America to maintain some normalcy. As a reward I am not going to steal extra sugar packs the next time I am in there. Plus, I will only use the bathroom if I buy something.
Good night and bottoms up.
If there is one place that you don't want to be when some of kind of wacky, peri-menapausal, brain fog sets in it's Walmart. But if you do plan on at least an hour to get the four, yes four, things that your roommate asked you to get. Also plan on being in sweatpants with a stained t-shirt and running smack dab into acquaintances and battling fluorescent lighting and A.D.D. while making small talk.
In the end I left with only the essentials; dog chews, deodorant, cola, water, TP, lotion, cat treats and a flippin' flapper for the toilet. It could have been worse.
What do you get when you mix your ex with new girlfriends, fire, tequila, pittbulls and chicharrons? Good food, good laughs and a few big feelings. But in the end a really good time.
I'm happy to see my ex and I are through to the other side. We had a bad break up. There were some very unhelpful people involved. But despite the odds we made it. Because we are family. I'm glad we had this special day together. We are not Mexican. We hardly speak any Spanish. But what the hell? We are not Irish either. And that never stopped us in March.
I'm just glad we are in the burbs. Because today was also free knife set at the Tropicana. So what do you get when you mix gamblers with tequila, rain and a Emeril Lagasse, rainbow knife set? I don't want to know Esse.
Today my, I'm not sure what to call it. I guess what I do on Monday afternoons would be considered a new-age class. It is comprised of folks from several schools of the mental health field. Some have credentials. Some don't. As a comedian I obviously am in the latter. How did I get in this group of energy healers? Well I guess I made the right shrink laugh. But every group should have a token comedian no?
So this group of very spiritual people bring different techniques together to heal their patients. They go beyond what Western medicine suggests. Think they may have all the answers? Think again. You should see them all trying to get their Google Hangouts to work. The spirit world and wifi often have trouble finding the same plane.
Today we learned about the Hawaiian healing technique of Ho'o pono pono. Believers feel they can heal the world by. Healing themselves. You can Google it. It's a real thing. The idea is to take responsibility for your roll in creating whatever you don't like. Rain, divorce or Rush Limbaugh can all be healed by your own inner healing. All you have to do is say these four lines and focus on healing.
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.
Pretty cool huh? The correct order of the sentences is a bit fuzzy. But it sure as hell beats direct confrontation - especially with Rush Limbaugh!
Today many of my friends and community members gathered on the Atlantic City boardwalk to walk from the Taj Mahal to the Tropicana to raise awareness for AIDS. Because nothing says fight for a cure like weaving between gamblers while wearing boas. Plus best parade route ever. As there were free and clean bathrooms along the entire trip. Take that Tour De France. With us in spirit were walkers in Asbury Park, Morristown, Newark, and Ridgewood. I don't know their potty situations.
But I do know this. It is so fun to get together and do something nice for others. The people around me were in such a good mood. Everybody thanked everybody else for coming, helping, etc. It was a love fest. At one point I was walking arm in arm with my ex and my current girlfriend (see selfie). I even donated a little stand up at the after party where I roasted the nicest person in the world and the biggest money raiser - my pal Susan. So I am officially going to hell. But it was funny. So it was worth it.
