Phone: 609-287-6559

Email: michelletomko@hotmail.com

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Well cold does have the word "old" right in it.

I guess this winter I am officially old. How do I know? Because I am freezing. I have never been cold before. I have childhood memories of my mother bundling me up like Randy in A Christmas Story and being totally miserable - and hot. But not today. I just could not get warm. 

I was always way underdressed for cold weather. My favorite? The ski vest and the sweater. Sometimes even a vest and a long-sleeve T-shirt. I gotta move my arms baby. Later in life I ended up with big boobs. Therefore my torso in a ski vest makes me look like Violet from Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory.Which does make my arms look thin though, so silver lining. 

But now forget it. I'm in anything sheepskin. I am deliberately layering. I am even wearing a scarf now. I hate scarves. I must have been hung in a past life. Because I cannot stand anything around my neck. I also don't trust anything that has an arbitrary "V" in it when you pluralize it. WTF? Perhaps it is my elevated energy and knowledge of the power behind the throat chakra, but I am accessorizing the hell out of this winter. 

I can't wait for the hot flashes to start. I gotta get warm! Or else just move to Florida and pretend it is not hot along with the rest of the geezers.

Blog Author

Michelle Tomko's comedy is a fervent blend of tomboy sensibilities courtesy of the older brothers she grew up with in the Midwest and the barrage of perimenopausal chaos the East Coast world has heaped upon her. She pulls her humor from everyday observations and classic stories of family, travel, pets, and adversity. With razor-sharp crowd work and improvisational skills to the rock-solid timing of a veteran performer, Michelle’s act is not to be missed!

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