"I like it when people ask me how I'm doing. I have a ton of people who are really interested in my career. I have them convinced that it's going really well too. But when the people who's basement I live in ask, well that's just rude."
I always chuckle at the poker table when someone gets up from a cash game to go into a tournament. (Now if you don't play poker you should know most tournaments take at least five hours to finish in the money. There are some that even take days to complete.) So when these same players return to the cash game twenty minutes later and someone asks "How did you do in the tournament?" I clearly question their sincerity. Obviously the tournament player suffered some horrible bad beat early and are knuckling down to win their buy-in back. Asking them that only embarrasses them and begs for a bitter, old bad-beat story to be told to the table. Yuck.
Most of us have come to the understanding that when people ask the ubiquitous question "How you doing?" they really don't care about the answer. They are expecting you to say, whether or not you have just won the lottery or you are gasping for air with a collapsed lung one word and one word only - "fine." So why do we ask?
I don't really know most of the time. But what I do know is that I have a community of people that want more words in my answer. I get phone calls of encouragement all the time. I get condolences and "atta boys" all the time. So much so that I am making an effort to only ask this question when I have the time, attention and energy to get a real answer. I no longer shout it from across the street. I don't block crowded grocery store aisles to ask it with a long, lost neighbor whose name I don't remember. And I don't ask it when someone is grieving a lost loved one or has just been diagnosed with something awful. Because that is just as dumb and insensitive as "Liking" it when they post it on Facebook. "My dad died." And 127 people like that. People! Think!
I invite you to join my movement. Who's in? If you join up or not know in your heart "I am fine."