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Email: michelletomko@hotmail.com

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The Cynic VS. The Secret: The Battle Rages On.

I am a cynic at heart. Most comedians are. There isn't much "funny" in pointing out the nice, the logical and the altruistic things of this world. But today you have caught me on one of my magical Mondays. Mondays are my "meetings day". Am I meeting with my agent? I wish? My financial planner? Not without an agent I'm not. My parole officer? We're not quite there yet.

My Mondays start with an online meeting of highly intelligent, new-thought, new-age, energy healers. What is an energy healer? I'm not sure. I'm still working on the Twitter thing remember? I mostly enjoy the irony of these folks tripping over themselves to say the most brilliant, nonjudgmental, positive things after the first twenty minutes of each meeting are inevitably spent trying to figure out how Google Hangouts works and getting everybody on the call. Basically we all experiment with the energy around us, bring new ideas and teachings to the table and see if we can all achieve a higher state of love and consciousness. How the hell did I get in here? “When the pupil is ready, the Master appears.” - Old Theosophical statement probably conceived by Mabel Collins but often attributed to the Buddha.  

The second meeting of my day is WE. I loosely and of course tonge-and-cheekily defined WE in last Monday's blog found http://www.michelletomko.com/blog/women-water-circle. Please check it out.

On these days of Law of Attraction (I would prefer days of Law & Order DA-dum) the cynic in me is constantly challenged. Most of my energy in the early years of these meetings was spent on not making obvious sex jokes and rolling my eyes. But as I have now moved over to the dark side (As a comedian the My Little Pony everything is great as long as we share side is the dark side.) I gotta tell ya. The shit works.

Example? Well last week in WE the Feng Shui lady did this exercise where she held up a book in the center of the room and kept repeating "Who wants this?" over and over again until one woman stood up and grabbed it out of her hand ala brass ring. The lesson was of course to go get what you want. Friday night I was at the Jeff Tracta show at the Borgata when the kindhearted star gave a shout out to his producer who stood up and reluctantly got picked up by the spotlight. AHA! I got you now. Well I was literally at diagonally the other end of the showroom. But when the show ended I darted and weaved for him with Emmit Smith precision, told him it was my birthday and asked him to please take my card. He was a truly a gentleman, made eye contact, shook my hand and really spent a moment with me. He even invited me back the next night. And then? Tonight he called. He called to say he almost fell out of his chair laughing at my video clips.  I went and grabbed that brass ring. Thanks Feng Shui lady. The shit works people. The shit works.

And even if it doesn't. It's better than the alternative. Miserably saying that you never get a break gets old and doesn't get you anywhere. So come on over to the dark side - the big easy- and stay there. A good unicorn beats a sad sack any night of the week.

Blog Author

Michelle Tomko's comedy is a fervent blend of tomboy sensibilities courtesy of the older brothers she grew up with in the Midwest and the barrage of perimenopausal chaos the East Coast world has heaped upon her. She pulls her humor from everyday observations and classic stories of family, travel, pets, and adversity. With razor-sharp crowd work and improvisational skills to the rock-solid timing of a veteran performer, Michelle’s act is not to be missed!

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