So I'm watching Three Days to Kill with Kevin Costner. He just beat the hell out of a guy half his age and twice his size. He somehow has the leverage to stab him through what looks like a steel-toed boot even though 'ol Kev is laid out on the ground. He also managed to wake at the last second on a train platform from a comatose state brought on by an experimental drug supplied to him from a CIA agent to punch a menacing albino (half his age) and switch spots with him so the bad guy gets struck by the train instead. Plausible? No. Predictable? Unfortunately in today's action films - yes. But there was obviously some action sequence that made me think "Hmmm? How old is Dances with Wolves these days? So I googled him - 59.
And good for him. He looks great. He is believable. Fine. But I also wondered where are his female contemporaries on the silver screen? Because I haven't seen Debra Winger or Connie Sellecca dropkick anybody in a while. His co-star Amber Heard is 28 by the way. But what does she care? She's engaged to Johnny Depp age 51. Or at least she is trying to marry him if she can sober him up for church any time soon.
Look I know I am not scooping this story. And I know based on my followers at the moment that I am preaching to the choir. But WTF? Why is it different for men? Why will Sean Connery get the girl until the end of time and Lynda Carter gets a Lens Express commercial? And she was flipping Wonder Woman for Christ's Sake! Listen up Hollywood. I wanna see Susan Sarandon bangin' Zack Efron real quick. And I am not taking no for an answer.
Here's to you Mrs. Robinson,
Michelle Tomko