Phone: 609-287-6559

Email: michelletomko@hotmail.com

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"Pay no attention to that mo behind the curtain!"

Again? Really? Going down my newsfeed between memes and updated profile pictures I see yet another zealot. This time he is blaming the gays for the mega-drought in California. First of all which is it? The gays just got blamed for a hurricane. Or do the friends of Dorothy have the superpowers to do both? You can Google the guy if you want. But I am not using his name or helping him to get hits here.

Also please allow me clear something up. If something catastrophic happens on California, the gays didn't do it. It's Mecca. It's the Holy Land. If we wanted to do some damage we would unleash the velvet mafia in Alabama and rain on every father/cousin wedding from now until the end of time. We are going to every NASCAR race, every Republican National Convention and stopping off to make out on Ted Cruz's lawn before we head on down to the Westboro Baptist church. Get it? A quick aside on Ted Cruz: If John McCain calls you a "Wacko Bird" that's the time to commit yourself buddy, not run for president. It's like Ike Turner telling you that you are too violent.

So thanks crazy zealot for telling the world about our super powers. You are like the 
Charles Xavier for the gay X-Men. (Sorry the LGBTQITSLFA-Men...Women...Womyn?) Whatever. At any rate, let's start a movement. Calling all gays. Get to the nearest event ending in N' as opposed to ING and rain down some Bob Fosse, rainbow, Amageddon with some lovely appetizers to follow. Or maybe a nice softball game would be better. What do you think 'Merica?

Blog Author

Michelle Tomko's comedy is a fervent blend of tomboy sensibilities courtesy of the older brothers she grew up with in the Midwest and the barrage of perimenopausal chaos the East Coast world has heaped upon her. She pulls her humor from everyday observations and classic stories of family, travel, pets, and adversity. With razor-sharp crowd work and improvisational skills to the rock-solid timing of a veteran performer, Michelle’s act is not to be missed!

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