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For the next week I am pet sitting. Ya know. The usual: 4 chocolate labs, one cat, about a thousand various fish (I pray I don't miss a tank), and twelve roosters and hens. What? 

I am from Cleveland. The only thing I know about chickens definitively is that I like sweet & sour sauce with my McNuggets. Once more the hens are brooding. I googled that and it isn't good. Apparently they don't like it when you try to take their unborn children. They like to take turns sitting on them trying to get them to hatch. What I see as an omelet they see as the next generation. Roosters I am finding out like to make noise for no reason and get all Fifty Shades in the hen house. So every morning I am doomed to break up cock fights and battle the feathered auxiliary of Operation Rescue. I might screw it and just make oatmeal.

The cat is cool. Passive-agressive, but cool. Feed me. Pet me. I bite you. Repeat. Whatever human was the first to think it was a good idea to let a cat into their cave had to have no feeling in his or her hands. Or the crazy prehistoric mice they had bit harder. But the whole set up is weird.

But now to everyone's favorite. The Labradors. Who can resist? You know how they are so sweet and attentive? You know how they just slowly follow you around and want to get petted? You know how they are just big, furry, door mats? Well, one of the four is like that. The other three are in varying stages of puppyhood. They resemble more the Bumpus Hounds from A Christmas Story than the bucholic, chubby, little blockheads we all know and love. 

So remember folks. I do it all. Plus my material is killing here after I in force the two bone minimum.Remember Michelle Tomko, voted best petsitter by an independent - Lab .