About four or five times a year I get into a fight at the poker table. I find the whole notion of that kind of behavior very unbecoming to a lady of my stature. But today was just one of those days.
And speaking of my stature, of course when the Costanza-esque, ill-witted, bald man ran out of things to say pertaining to the actual poker hand that upset him, he commented on my looks. So forget the fact that he was down three bills in a $2-$4 limit game. Also forget that the play I made was textbook correct. And try to forget the fact that he wasn't even in the said hand! But do remember to ask yourself why you don't see men (correction straight men) calling each other fat or ugly when they are arguing. Also be curious about how a man has the gusto to call a woman ugly or fat without fear of reprisal when he is fatter and uglier than the woman he is exchanging barbs with.
It's the old "look at how big Hillary's calves have gotten" defense. And it happens all the time. This loser on some level must have the notion that he is not a good-looking guy. I know this because he actually said "My girlfriend doesn't look like you. You wanna see a picture?" So apparently the logic is you can be bald with a huge nose as long as you have a passable girlfriend. And a picture of her. Now forgive me. Because when Doug would do this on The King of Queens, I thought we were all in on the joke. I guess not.
Also boys, FYI, we gals downplay our looks big time to play poker. Because we don't want you hitting on us. I remember my friend telling me that the only time she wears her wedding ring is when she is at the poker table. Does that tell you anything?
I declined to look at his picture. But I do remember the episode of Seinfeld where George carries a picture of a girl he doesn't know to get models to go out with him you vapid idiot. It's either that or he just ran into the other champion of this sort of injustice: Low Self-Esteem Lass. She s a super hero to these types of guys. She cooks. She cleans. She...settles in a single's bound. Wake up girls and get a cat. He's just not worth it.
P.S. I would have posted a picture of him. But he seems like a guy that sues.
Blog Author
Michelle Tomko's comedy is a fervent blend of tomboy sensibilities courtesy of the older brothers she grew up with in the Midwest and the barrage of perimenopausal chaos the East Coast world has heaped upon her. She pulls her humor from everyday observations and classic stories of family, travel, pets, and adversity. With razor-sharp crowd work and improvisational skills to the rock-solid timing of a veteran performer, Michelle’s act is not to be missed!