Phone: 609-287-6559

Email: michelletomko@hotmail.com

facebook blue    twitter blueinsta blue

Upcoming Events:

 

 

Starbucks or Fivebucks?

I think Starbucks should change its name to Fivebucks. Then at least you know what you are getting. Either that or Come-on-in-our-coffee-tastes-burnt. But I don't think that rolls off the tongue as easily.

I went to Fivebucks today to meet with my new web designer. Of course I felt obliged to do it. I bought a $5 cup of coffee. And that was only for a medium! And the names are so pretentious. Venti Latte? I ordered a Chai Tea once and the Barrista (don't get me started) said "Do you want a dirty Chai?" "Um…what?" Apparently a dirty Chai has a shot of espresso in it. Now call me old fashioned. But I think that if you can order the same thing at a Starbucks that you can order at a Vietnamese whore house we have gone a bit too far with our coffee menus. Wouldn't you say?

Give me a dusty corner of a library any day. I prefer the smell of old books to the aroma of desperate grad students and nutmeg. I don't like like the whole vibe of Starbucks or any other coffee shop for that matter. I mean they are full of those entitled Farfegnugen hippies who are all sitting around talking about what is wrong with the world, sipping on $5 cups o' joe, wearing $2 ripped jeans they got at a thrift store. I usually walk up to them and say "Excuse me. I know what's wrong with this world. Your coffee costs more than your pants! Suck my dirty Chai douche-bag."

But I digress. So what do we think of this website? Should I keep the wood? Is comedy spa working for ya? Pretty much every other comedian site has stars, a microphone, or the ever popular iconic brick wall. I'm trying to think of something different. Thoughts?

Thank you for reading. Good night and good buck.

Michelle Tomko

Blog Author

Michelle Tomko's comedy is a fervent blend of tomboy sensibilities courtesy of the older brothers she grew up with in the Midwest and the barrage of perimenopausal chaos the East Coast world has heaped upon her. She pulls her humor from everyday observations and classic stories of family, travel, pets, and adversity. With razor-sharp crowd work and improvisational skills to the rock-solid timing of a veteran performer, Michelle’s act is not to be missed!

Please publish modules in offcanvas position.